the badbadivy experience

Whenever I’m bored or have writer’s block or anything else, really, I take a short break and play spades. It’s this online spades thing that came with my computer. So, this has happened several times lately and I really needed to bitch.

I bid one. Because, you know, I have shit for cards. My partner goes nil. Now, that’s understandable because you bid sight unseen. But when I bid one and you bid nil, don’t expect shit for coverage from me. I’ll do the best I can, but if I had a lot of high cards, I would have bid more than ONE.

There’s chat on the game, but it limits you to responses the game allows you.  So, today I bid one, my partner goes nil. I do the best I can covering this fool with my paltry and assorted queens and jacks, and then they lead spades. I had ONE spade, the king. So, what happens? Person to my left leads with a 4. My partner plays a 2. Person to my right plays their ace and I am forced to play my king, because it is the only spade I had.

Then the person to my right leads a 6 of spades. I throw the 9 of diamonds because, again, I’m out of spades. Player to my left throws a 3 and my partner is caught with the 9.

What does that asshat do? They chat:

Thanks partner

Nice cover

No

So I chat right back at them:

Nice try

It was luck

What I REALLY wanted to chat at them was something like:

YOU DUMB ASSHOLE! I ONLY HAD ONE FUCKING SPADE AND I HAD TO PLAY IT!

Of course, the game is too polite for that. My partner left the game immediately after that. Fucker. I don’t even know why I play spades on the computer, it irritates me so badly.